Vegans and fake meats - what’s the real deal?

Did you hear the one about the vegan enjoying a burger at a BBQ? Sorry, there isn’t a witty punchline to follow. The vegan was told that they shouldn’t be enjoying their burger because it was a vegan one and therefore wasn’t a burger, and that was the end of the matter. 

But with the rising number of meat substitutes becoming available, and attitudes changing, hopefully, all that is set to change.

Fake meats are hitting the shelves fast, and with some of them setting their sights on meat lovers as well as vegans, it’s only a matter of time before they’re as ‘normal’ as meat. We now have bleeding vegan burgers, mushroom sausages and plant-based steaks, which are all sold as indistinguishable from the real thing. 

So no longer do we have to make do with soya-based, insipid fakeness if we’d rather not eat meat at a BBQ. (Thanks Quorn, you did brilliantly, but, y’know, it’s time we moved on…) 

But this rise in fake meats is raising eyebrows. Do vegans and the plant-based really want meat substitutes? Do they even need them? Should they want or need them? Either way, what about the positive role they might play in reducing the world’s meat consumption? 

So I took it upon myself to find out what a fabulous bunch of foodies (my friends) thought on the matter. 

The case for fake meats - “a familiar placebo”

“Fake meats are life!” So said one friend. They said it meant that their kids could have ‘normal’ looking packed lunches at school. Another said that she and her family love them as they “taste the same as meat, without the hoof and eye”.

This praise reflected the consensus among the friends who like mock meats, especially those with children. Those on the positive side of fake meats loved that they allowed everyone to enjoy a hot dog at a BBQ or a hearty roast dinner. (‘Joints’ of tofu disguised as turkey are actually a thing.) 

One meat-eater said that he sometimes uses fake mince, albeit with a beef stock. He saw it as a way of reducing his consumption of meat, whilst still getting the flavour. But he also said that a semi-veggie spag bol would be as far as he would go. 

A self-confessed fussy eater and vegan said that meat substitutes are one of the strongest weapons we have in saving the planet. He said that the ceasing of livestock cultivation is only a matter of time and that our planet won’t exist if we continue to eat meat and dairy. So, he argued, fake meats can help those who love meat transition. “Just like vapes, patches and gums help smokers hoping to quit”. He argued that “they present a familiar placebo and provide variety and an alternative to finding new ways to eat vegetables”. 

The case against - “contradicting in every sense” 

So far, so agreeable. But just as many simply couldn’t comprehend the need for fake meats - both vegans and meat-eaters. One meat-eater couldn’t understand why a vegan or a vegetarian would want to eat a meat substitute.

This point was quickly shut down by someone else explaining that she didn’t eat meat because of animal welfare, not because it didn’t taste nice. 

Another friend and long-term vegan said that she didn’t like what fake meats were made of, and always avoids anything made with soya. Her husband, a forever carnivore, said that he’d quite liked the Vivera Plant Steak. He said it was nothing like a ‘real’ steak but was really tasty and “much nicer than Quorn fakeness”. (Vivera, you’re doing great, but you might have work to do to convince meat-lovers that your products taste the same as meat.) 

But the most vocal were those who not only don't like fake meats, but don’t believe in their need to exist. (I have some very passionate friends.) One, a vegan, “hates the look, taste and very idea of fake meats”. She finds them “contradicting in every sense”. Another, a carnivore, would throw any fake meat served up to him straight into the bin. Hmmm. 

But hatred aside, most agreed that fake meats do have an important role in reducing meat consumption.  

The world needs innovative and sustainable foods 

For a long time, meat-eaters commandeered the burger as their own. They took it under their wing and claimed meaty rights over what is fundamentally a piece of charred protein slapped between two slices of carb. And maybe some sauce.

Then along came Quorn, and vegans and veggies had something of their own to put in a white floured bap. 

But now, the next generation of fake burgers and other mock meats is here. With food technology improving all the time, my guess is, they’ll only get better. 

Based on my small selection of (fabulous) people, we either love meat substitutes or we really, really loathe them. 

I put up with Quorn for years, but this new flurry of fake meats excites my taste buds. Most of the time, my protein comes unashamedly from chickpeas. I love them. But I also love a burger (that isn’t made of soggy soya, boring beans or sweetcorn). 

Should fake meats exist? Absolutely! With animal agriculture responsible for an ever-growing carbon footprint, Planet Earth needs all the help it can get. If that means more mock meats, I’m all for them.