Hello you! Ways to boost your self-esteem

Low self-esteem negatively affects the way we see our own value and our place in the world. We might convince ourselves that we don’t belong, that we’re not good enough or we’re simply not worthy of the things we have. Imposter Syndrome, where we believe that we’re just winging our way through life, waiting for the day we get found out for not being good enough, is very real for many of us.

Whilst it’s natural to have moments of self-doubt at times, if your view of yourself, how you look or the kind of person you are is normally set to low (hi, it’s me, I see you!) then here’s my top tips on how to work on your self-esteem and turn it up a notch or two: 

·      Know that no one is perfect, not even the people who come across so on social media (and in real life). So if you’ve recently done something you feel bad, sad or mad about, or you’ve previously made life choices that haven’t served you well, think about them, learn from them, then park them - and take solace from the fact that actually, you’re just like everybody else – we all make mistakes!

·      Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small you may perceive them to be. You’re more than deserving of feeling good about something positive that you’ve done (or something negative that you haven’t done).

·      Place more emphasis on the things you can change, rather than the things you can’t. For example, you can choose to empower yourself with exercise to change the way you feel about your fitness levels, so you can choose to go running or join a gym. This is far more self-esteem boosting than getting fixated on things beyond your control, such as how someone might perceive you. You have no control over anyone but yourself.

·      Avoid comparing yourself to others, because what we see isn’t always the truth anyway. Live your truth and be true to yourself, rather than trying to live a life that belongs to someone else. Your life is worthy of your attention, and focusing on you will help to build you up, rather than tearing you down with comparisons. If you do find yourself looking wistfully at someone else’s life, turn it around into a motivational thought and make it something to aspire to.  

·      Surround yourself with kind, supportive beings, the kind of people that make you feel good, positive and happy and that don’t judge or belittle you or others around them. Being with negative people is draining and mentally exhausting. Be with those who see good, and it’ll help you see the good in you.

·      Set goals and challenges for yourself that you know are fairly challenging but achievable. Because the feeling when you do achieve them will help your self-esteem no end. Running a non-stop 5km, joining an art class or learning how to make your favourite restaurant-quality meal – whatever it is, push yourself to achieve it!

Sometimes, the things we experience in our lives, such as mental challenges, bereavements, money worries and job losses, can affect the way we view ourselves. Consider seeking counselling or some kind of talking therapy to help you make peace with upsetting or stressful life events. Doing so could leave you feeling more at ease with yourself so that you can be kinder to yourself and better able to face and cope with the life events that challenge you in the future.

Being more self-confident with better self-esteem doesn’t mean being brash or arrogant or changing who you are. It means believing in yourself more and appreciating who and what you are. I hope these tips help and that you can soon say hello to the newly confident you. You deserve it!